I will miss you bleakest of winters when thus has ended your day. Can you not be here past, present and in perpetuum, forever and always to stay?
You came to me in a dream; little has changed between what I saw and what I see; perennial resplendent beauty Queen, yet I recoil at the sight of she for the fright grips me remembering the nights of we, so forever shall the spite be? Your voice dredges through my soul, awakening memories drowned by the undertow and buried below so they may no longer be known to the conscious that continues to grow; aware is the heart of the laceration of the love, the consternation from thy glove as it grabs the throat of the peaceful – capsizes the boat of the meaningful and violently drowns us in the moat of all the crying sorrowful people.
You can talk to me. A kiss on the cheek. A loving retort?
You cannot see. You are fucking weak. Anger is the only resort.
And it’s that same loneliness that crushes the heart, shatters the will; for sex I’d die but for love I’d kill. Why? Forget me not, don’t undo the knot, our initials still carved below the big knot so forever alive and imprisoned are the screaming memories of love’s blood blots from when my emotions were shot – so many speckled red dots, I wish it didn’t clot, I wanted to die from the loss, please bleed out heart and pay the cost for all the times spent nailed to love’s cross.
If you are listening to me, dear God, send that sacrificial lamb; if you’re in fact just an unbiased spirit, at least send me the best you can.
Tony Blauvelt 08/18/2013